The chemistry was obvious, but nothing ever “happened.” Or did it? Gail Saltz, MD, associate professor of psychiatry at New York-Presbyterian Hospital/Weill Cornell School of Medicine, says “probably.” “Many of these emotional affairs do move into a sexual affair,” Saltz says.
They made a beeline for each other every morning, and their chats became more and more personal. “If they don’t, it’s easy enough to say to yourself that you’re not doing anything wrong.” The problem, she says, is the attachment to this other person impacts the marriage.
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Like many women, René (who asked that only her middle name be used), a writer from northern New Jersey, had two husbands: a regular spouse and a “work husband,” a man -- interesting, smart, funny -- with whom she spent 9 hours a day.
What does it say about me, you, and us as a couple?
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But to give your marriage a chance, “you just have to end it. It’s too slippery a slope.” If it’s someone you can’t avoid, have a direct conversation. Your next step: Figure out what led you to make the connection with this other person, says psychologist Janis Abrahms Spring, Ph D, author of After the Affair: Healing the Pain and Rebuilding Trust When a Partner Has Been Unfaithful.
“One of the critical tasks necessary for the couple to survive emotional infidelity is for both partners to explore its roots -- why did it happen?